SO...driving home from dropping Alissa off from pre-school, Im relaxing, listing to some music, Zack is asleep in the backseat...All is good. And then I look down for a brief moment, dont know why, but what do I see? An BIG FAT BLACK SPIDER on my leg! Not a small, happy, friendly spider...if there is any such thing...A BIG FAT BLACK ONE!
I know for some of you this may not be cause for alarm, but spiders and I go way back and have a history of not getting along. Needless to say I did what every rational human being would do...I SCREAMED and flicked the spider off of my leg, only to see what appears to be this spider flying up to my dashboard. Keep in mind, I am behind the wheel at this point. Trying to keep my composure and continue driving in a safe manner, I proceed to look for the intruder. With no luck spotting the creepy fat predator, I continue to drive home as quickly as one can in a speed limit of 30 MPH. Whats with this city and their slow traffic laws!?
Pulling into the garage as fast as I can I jump out of the van and do a quick look over myself, to make sure he wasnt still occupying my body...and run into the house for a flashlight. After a thorough and cautious investigation, I regret to say...I cannot find the spider anywhere. I know what your all thinking, Im crazy right? The thought did cross my mind that I could just have been hallucinating this thing making cozy on my leg, but no. I AM NOT CRAZY! I know it! Oh yeah, I guess I better get the kids out of the van before I proceed to bomb the perimeter.
After the kids are safely in the house, I go upstairs to do a strip search...just to be safe. Still no spider in sight. Again I take to the flashlight, while calling Ryan in hopes for someone more rational to talk some sense into me. Another search and prodding for the spider to make himself known with empty promises, comes up short. Still with creepy crawlies invading my entire body, I must eat some lunch. I will need my strength to defeat the beast.
Now I ask of you...how am I to get back into the van knowing that...that THING is still in there lurking somewhere, ready to make himself known at the worst possible moment!? How can I ever drive rationally again until it is found? If anyone out there is brave enough to come find this spider, or even trade me vans until it is found, you will forever be my hero! I have 3 hours until Alissa is to be retrieved. Help me!
what is that on my head...crawling up my leg....oh its in shirt now...ewww...get it off me!
10 comments:
I remember when you and Ryan were dating before you married. That Ryan was in his room one night reading a book - When you called and was minding your own business in your own room...when a creepy spider came by you that night too.. I remember Ryan had to do a bit of convincing to get you to trust your bedroom. I think you was safe that night. But those crawly things have freaked you out before -- Please let me know you found that critter so you can breathe again!!
Yikes. Sorry but that's funny. I would react the same way. I hope you find it or maybe it just got scared and made a quick exit too.
Did you find it? Or are you in the car with it again on your way to pick up Alissa?
I must say that I am not really afraid of spiders. I don't LOVE them but I can cope. It is mice that have me screaming, crying, hyperventillating and running for the hills.
Sorry about the trauma.
I wish I would have read this yesterday. I would have rescued you. You must know that I don't kill them though. Next time you find a spider I will come retrieve it and give it a new place to live.
I'm still willing to come look today!
Julie: I will do the mice too but again I hate the death thing.
Hah hah hah! Too funny, I think the same way as you do though! I would be scared to get in the car. I was at Walmart and while I was loading up the groceries a bee was flying around me. I assumed it left but it didn't. It settled in my hair. I realized this after I got in the car with all the windows shut and as I am driving out of the lot I see this bee flying towards the passenger window. I roll down the window and it flies out. The trauma is over! Luckily the kids were at home.
Was the spider ever found? I would have felt the same way. Way to be a trooper!
The only possible solution is to sell the car! :o)
you tell the best stories, I'm sorry its very cute and funny. I'm laughing, that is, of course, till I find a funeral invitation in the mail.
Mhuaahahahahaaa
(this sounds like doctor cockroches laugh on Monsters Vrs. Aliens.)
Love you! hehehe
For anyone who actually continues to read comments after you have posted...NO the spider was never found! It makes me question my sanity even more.
And Katelin-I have considered selling the van, but Ryan has put the kybosh on that one! It is starting to get easier to drive in it again, but I do keep checking my surroundings and feeling itchy all over during the commute!
Hi Heather,
I love your writing! You should consider writing a column for a family magazine or free lance.
As for your Hijacker...I would just get a vacumn that has a hose attachment and suck the little "sucker" up...and soon you will have peace of mind.
Anyway Gordon and I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to more.
Love, Joyce Evans
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